Archive for the ‘Love and Relationships’ Category
Looks can be perceiving
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” – ALBERT EINSTEIN
Don’t you sometimes wish you had the ability to just change some bad experience in your life instantaneously? At times we all indulge in the lure of quick fixes and the challenge of working through our problems often seem too arduous and like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. There is, however a “quick fix” that can help you change virtually anything immediately. It is one of the key differences that separates happy, fulfilled and successful people from those who life a life of frustration, reaction and quiet desperation.
We all live in a world that we can “see” and “touch”, but this world is not really a physical world at all. It is actually a perceived world that exists only in your mind. Although the physical world might be exactly the same, different people will “see” different things and consequently have different experiences. What we see might be the same but whet we perceive is very different for every person. When someone is born with thick corneal opacities they cannot see. Even when, later in life, an operation gives sight to that person, the person still cannot see because to them the world they “see” is just a blur of light, colours and disorganized shapes. There is no meaning to what they experience with their senses. Scientist used to believe that we respond to information flowing into the brain, but we now know, scientifically, that it is actually our interpretation of the information that determines our response. Our past experiences create an expectancy that is primarily based on what we “know” and what we “know” is that which has happened before.
One of the main ways in which our minds make sense of what we actually see and experience is through what we call our beliefs. A belief is a sense of certainty about what something means and for the most part your beliefs are a result of reference experiences from your past. Perception is a way of grasping and making sense of the “realities” around us. Perception links a meaning to what you take in with your senses that allows you to have the experience in your nervous system. Because perception is based on interpretation we can change it. Just look at kids. They have an unquenchable thirst for knowing “why” things are the way they are and at an early age they start to form, assign and match up meanings to what they see and the feedback they get. This is where we start to form our perceptions, but as we get older we learn to stop questioning what we actually see. This explains why we often see life the same way and why we keep doing things the same way, experience the same emotions and act in the same ways. Things happen and you automatically assign a meaning to it based on your unconscious belief system that tells you what things mean.
The real truth however is that you are the master of meaning. It is not the conditions of your life but your perception of it that determines the way you feel and what you will or will not do with it. A change in perception is what turns the half empty glass into a half full glass. Perception explains how two people can have exactly the same experience and one commits suicide while the other becomes an inspiration for generations to come. Whatever you perceive is going to be true for you, regardless of what you see. Einstein said that “reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”
Realize that what you see, the circumstances of your life are not really “real” but merely your perception of what you actually take in through your senses. By simply changing the meaning of what you see you can change it all. Most of your behaviour therefore is not really an action but rather a reaction based on how you did things previously. You are never really stuck but you are only stuck in using your old perceptions by re-acting to what you see and experience. You owe it to yourself to truly live your life by being here. Perception is as easy to shift as thinking a new thought about the same thing. What you see is not going to change but what you perceive is entirely up to you.
Your present and future experiences do not have to be the same as your past. You can change any experience from a sad story into an inspirational feat by simply changing your perception. It’s all a choice, but if you don’t choose your perceptions consciously, your old beliefs will take over by default. It is never a case of whether life is beautiful but whether you are noticing?
So, how can you use the power of perception to change the way you think, the way you feel and consequently what you do and create in your life?
* The first and most effective way to change your perception of anything us to change your beliefs. Becoming aware of your beliefs in itself can open you up to new perceptions and consequently new experiences that serve you. Whenever something happens that you do not like just ask yourself “What else can this mean?
* If you keep running into the same brick wall, step one is to stop running. Step two is to take off your blindfold so that you can see the door and go through it. Slow down and really look at your situation or circumstances.
* This is not that. Stop attaching the same old labels to the same old experiences. The only meaning that is valid is the meaning you give something. Realize that meaning is never fixed but always assigned by you making a choice, even if it is unconscious.
* Ask yourself “What am I not seeing?” What you are not seeing is what’s preventing you from finding the empowering meaning in any situation and using it to your advantage.
Help You to Achieve Your Full Potential
Do you know that you have more to offer, but struggle to understand how to apply yourself in order to achieve your goals? Do you find it difficult to believe that you have the ability to fulfill your dreams and live the life that you have always wanted to have?
Many people struggle each and every day with a sense that they will never live up to their full and true potential. And unfortunately, many of those individuals will never overcome the personal mental barriers and fears that prevent them from accomplishing their life’s purpose.
But, there is good news for those who are willing to ask for help. With personal life coaching and personal development training, anyone can achieve their true potential. They can reach their goals and find that something special within themselves that will make their life feel more complete.
<B>How Personal Life Coaching Can Help</B>
So, what is personal life coaching exactly? Life coaching is a process for individuals to undertake with the help of a coach, who will have a number of conversations with the individual and provide mentoring and advice based upon what is needed by the client. During the process, individuals – or even groups – will be asked questions that help them to really examine their lives through a whole new set of eyes and from an unbiased, knowledgeable perspective.
Some questions will be relatively straightforward: are you happy with the way your life is going? What are you looking to improve in your life – the way you accomplish your work, the amount of and quality of time that you have for your family? Other questions will require more thoughtful answers.
These questions are designed to help the life development coach see to the obstacles that stand between the client and their ultimate success in realizing their goals. These questions encourage the life coach’s clients to focus on their fears, their challenges, and on whether or not they are committed to reaching their stated goals.
<B>Developing A Path For Success</B>
Based on the answers to all of the questions that a life coach asks – the easier and the more difficult questions – a life coach will work with his or her client to re-structure the way that the individual approaches their life, work and problems. In part, this may mean that the client will be thinking differently about how to solve problems or defining an effective strategy towards reorganizing their lives in a positive way. It may also mean that the client will begin to condition him or herself to actually reach his or her goals.
Sometimes, the personal life development coach will recognize that the individual’s real goals differ from his or her stated goals in a number of ways. When this happens, the life coach will help his or her client see the contradictions between their stated and real goals.
In order to help with this conditioning, a life coach is dedicated to teaching their client’s how to use tools that will boost their level of self-accountability. He or she will work with the client to help them overcome their fears and stumbling blocks, so they are better able to achieve their goals – their personal goals, their professional goals and even, in many cases, their financial goals.
Reaching goals, like life coaching itself, is a process. Unlike a therapist, a life coach will not work with his or her client to discover the roots of their problems. Instead of looking to the past, a life coach will help their client look to the future. At the end of the process, an individual will be able to clearly identify his or her goals and develop the tools and resources that are needed to achieve them.
<B>Final Thoughts…</B>
Whether the client desires to work towards owning and operating their own business, accelerating their career, finding balance between work and family, or merely looking for a way of identifying what will make them truly happy in their own lives, a personal life coach is an ideal partner.
It must be noted that the job of the life coach is not to take you from Point A to Point B; instead, he or she will help you to learn the mental tools that you will need to reach your destination on your own and to provide encouragement along the way.
Where to Go on Your First Date
That is an age-old question. Cave men had it made. They firmly believed in kidnapping and taking their date to a filthy cave out in the middle of nowhere. Those were what was known as the good old days. Now days first date destinations and plans are a little trickier. First let’s cover where NOT to go on a first date.
The old standby of dinner and a movie is a really poor choice for a first date. How will you get to know the lady if you are sitting in a darkened theater with a movie being shown? If you choose the movie, there is probably going to be a lot of frantic car chases and a lot of blood involved. Neither are conducive to creating a memorable evening.
Also, don’t take your date to your parent’s house! She will know right away that you are a mama’s boy and you will never see her again.
Don’t take your date to a sleazy bar with a motel out back. You will scare the poor woman to death. She will jump out of the car and hitchhike back to town believing that she would be safer with a burly truck driver than with you.
Now, some good first date ideas are:
Begin with a simple lunch or coffee date. You want to keep the date casual so suggesting meeting up for lunch or coffee can be a good start. This way, if the date didn’t go so well, you can end the date there but if you enjoy each other company, you have the rest of the day to spend getting to know each other better.
Here are some ideas of where to go if the lunch or coffee date tells you’re there is some good chemistry happening:
If it is the season, an amusement park or a theme park is a good first date idea. It doesn’t matter how old you are, we can all be big kids at heart. There’re so much you can do at amusement parks and theme parks that most likely you will forget about the dating pressure and just have fun.
Most well populated areas have an array of museums covering many different subjects. Visiting one that is dedicated to something that you have in common with the woman is another good first date idea.