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Archive for April, 2011

Do you ever feel like you catch up with your partner infrequently, often late at night when you’re too tired to speak?  Or when your timetables happen to collide?  There are work dinners, school outings, sporting practice, dinners with friends, homework to supervise, household chores and so the list goes on.  Do you feel like you need to make a date night just to spend some one on one time with your other half?  Time when you’re not sleeping?

If this sounds like you then I’m sure you will enjoy these tips for keeping each other close at heart, even if you can’t always be as physically close as you’d like.

Its all about communicating and sharing the little things that make up our lives.  Here are ten easy ways to make your feelings known:

1.    Birthday love letter.  There is something powerful about a letter.  A few years ago my husband and I agreed to write a love letter for each other’s birthday.  I think I picked it up from a magazine article about Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise.  Apparently it’s something they used to do in lieu of expensive presents.  Obviously it didn’t work for their marriage but we’ve found it has become the part of our birthday celebrations that we enjoy the most.

Writing down all the things that you love about the other person and then giving it to them is a very personal and thoughtful thing to do.  In many cases its better than any gift you could possibly imagine and something to appreciate and cherish even when the birthday is a distant memory.  You can do it for your children too if you have any and they will never need to doubt that you love them.   Of course, you don’t have to wait until it is your loved ones birthday to send them a letter – anytime is a good time to tell them how you feel about them.

2.    Sit down and talk about your day.  When we can we sit down at the table to eat our evening meal and take it in turns to talk about what we did in our day.  Even our two and a half year old joins in.  For a long time he would talk about who he saw rather than what he did but now he’s getting the hang of it.  The other thing we take it in turns to do is name the best and worst things that happened that day.  Sometimes so much happens each day that it helps to pause and reflect on what were the highlights and lowlights.

3.    Celebrate all your partner’s successes with them – from a high five to a glass of champagne.  Whatever the scale of the success calls for, make it a joint celebration.

4.    Allow yourself to be impressed by your partner and let them know.  ‘I’m proud of you’ is something that I think everyone loves being told by someone they care about.

5.    Never underestimate the power of a hug – train your kids to hug you back.  My five year old son Jack loves hugs.  He loves giving them and getting them.  Sometimes he will spontaneously hug someone if he feels they are a bit sad, although usually he asks first if they would like ‘a Jack hug’.

6.    Send them a photo that means a lot to you and tell them why its important – you could use a Show & Tell Card.  It’s a new type of greeting card that lets you stick your photo on the front and is blank inside so you can write what you like.   Go to http://www.showandtellcards.com for more information.

7.    Share an experience.  It could be a movie, a new CD, magazine article, or a short story.  Talk about what you read or saw and why you liked or disliked it.   And do it regularly.

8.    Compliments.  Everyone loves getting them so never pass up the opportunity to give one of these reliable mood boosters.  You can give them in person or write them on a small piece of paper and leave them somewhere unexpected for your loved one to find.

9.    Dance.  It doesn’t take long to find a great song you both enjoy, put it on and dance around the living room floor – probably 5 minutes maximum but it is a wonderful way to physically reconnect with each other in between dinner and desert or at the end of a long evening or you could make it an unusual way to start your day.

10.    Thoughtful gestures.  Doing something unexpected, especially when you’re loved one is busy and stressed, is a lovely way to show that you understand what they are going through and that they have your support.

Showing your partner how much you love them need not take a lot of time and you will be rewarded many times over for your effort.  Get loving today!

You eventually reach a point in your life when you’re ready for change and a whole bunch of information that’ll help you unleash your personal development potential. Until then, something can stare at you right under your nose but you don’t see it.

For instance, when you look at a painting, you can’t really appreciate it when it’s just an inch away from your face. But if you look at it from a little further back, you’ll have a clearer vision of the whole artwork.

Most people tend to only think of seeking advice for self help and personal growth when everything gets worse. For example, take the following scenario:

Try placing your finger in a pot of scalding hot water. What happens? You take it out pretty quick. Why? Because you can’t tolerate sudden change in your environment, the water’s hot temperature.

But try placing your finger in luck warm water and then turn the gas stove on. Wait until the water reaches a certain temperature, then you’ll start thinking “Ooh… it’s a bit warm in there”. Then you’ll finally remove your finger.

Generally speaking, people usually behave more like the second example above. We learn our lessons when we experience actual pain. Today, Shannon thinks Clark hates her. The next day, Chris walks up to her and tells her he hates her. Shannon stays the same and doesn’t mind what her friends say. On the third day, she learns that Kimberly and Nathan also can’t stand her. Shannon doesn’t realize at once the importance and the need for self improvement until the entire community hates her.

We finally see the warning signs and signals when things get rough and tough. When do we realize that we need to go on a diet? When our jeans and shirts don’t fit us anymore.

When do we stop eating or reduce the amounts of sweets we eat? When all of our teeth start to rot and visits to the dentist become more frequent.

When do we realize that we need to stop smoking? When our lungs have gone bad and our voice starts croaking.

When do we pray and ask for help? When we realize that we’re just might die tomorrow.

Most of us only learn about unleashing our personal development potential when the whole world is crashing down around us. Our situations prove uneasy to change, but those situations become more painful when we continue refusing to change them.

Change will happen, like it or not. At one point or another, you’re going to experience different turning points in your life. And you’re going to eventually unleash your potential for personal development — not because the world says so, not because your friends nag you, but because you realize it’s for your own good.

Happy people don’t just accept change, they embrace it. Now, you don’t have to feel tremendous heat before realizing the need for self improvement. Unleashing your potential means freeing yourself from the cage of thought that “it’s just the way I am.” Such a poor excuse for people only feeds fear and resistance to change.

Most of us program our minds like computers. For instance, Jessica repeatedly tells everyone that she’s afraid to be around groups of people. She hears her mom, her dad, her sister, her teacher say the same thing about her to other people. And over the years, that’s what Jessica comes to believe. She believes it truly is her story.

And what happens? Every time a great crowd gathers at her house, in school, and in the community, she tends to step back, shy away and lock herself up in a room. Jessica doesn’t just believe her story, she actually lives it.

Personal development may not be everybody’s cup of tea. But if you look at things from a different point of view, you might have greater chances of enjoying the whole process instead of sitting back and counting the days until you’re fully improved (and those days will never come anyway).

Three sessions a week at the gym results in a healthier life. Going out with friends and peers helps you take a step back from work and unwind. And just when you’re enjoying the whole process of unleashing your personal development potential, you realize you’re beginning to take things easier and become happier.

You are single, bored and you just have nothing
to do. It is another miserable day like the day
before. You need someone to talk to and you are
turning on the computer, browsing some… dating
sites. There are so many people… singles, like
you are.

What should you ask from them? Can they change
your life for better?

The answer to the last question is up to you.
Would you let a person you have met online to
change your life? Are you willing to do this?  Do
you trust someone you have met this way?

SOME people simply do not have the courage to let
an online relationship to develop and change in a
normal healthy relationship. Are you one of them?

Let me re-ensure you that online relationships
really are working, and yes it can change your
entire life, in a good way.

But there are some impediments or mistakes which
are leading to the end of the relationship
between two people that could have had a good
future together:

1. First of all if you do not take people you are
taking to too seriously, you will be treated the
same way.

2. Being too secret and reserved. If you do not
tell things about you and you are not working to
develop a relationship, nobody will make this for
you.

3. Trust or lack of trust is the biggest
impediment of an eRelathionship. You have to try
to get the people you are taking to trust in you,
and then find out if that person is a trustworthy
one. There are so many ways to check out this.

4. Being shy. If you are interested in someone
and you want to meet her/him offline, let her/him
know this.  What do you have to lose?

5. Fear of disappointment or fear of becoming a
victim of someone with bad intentions can make
you paranoid. It is good to be preventive but not
exaggerate about this. It is not funny and will
pull people away.

6. Unbelieving. If you do not believe that an
eRelathionship can become something more then it
is, you will not pay too much attention and…
You get exactly what you give and some more, don’
t you?

7. Do not make that relationship a priority in
your life. Any human needs to feel that is
important for someone, that is the center of
someone life, even if you have meet that human
online. Don’t you feel the same? Wouldn’t you pay
more attention to someone if you would know that
you are a priority in his/her life?

8. Not making the next step. Talking online can
be fun but it is not enough to get to know a
person better and after a while it can become
boring. Talking on the phone can help you two to
develop the relationship and do not forget that
you can feel chemistry only when you two are
meeting face to face, touching each other,
feeling the smell of her/his perfume.

9. Beeing insincere, pretending that you are
something that you are not will lead you
eventually to the end of any relationship. So be
honest from the very beginning, maybe you have
just meat the mach of your life, don’t take the
risk to lose her because of a stupid mistake.

10. Thinking that online dating sites are some
kind of shops where you can find a lover like you
find a pear of shoes, and if you are braking the
shoes you can go back to that shop and buy
another pair just like the first. It is not true,
every human, every soul is unique. If you lose
her/him it is for good. So I am sure that you
will have problems like all couples have but it
is worthy to make the effort to solve these
problems together.

Be happy that the technology gives you the chance
to meet your match online, but do not waste this
chance, it could never come back to you.

Time is our greatest and most precious asset.  Time is the great equalizer of all us human beings.  Why then do we not recognize and treat it with the respect it deserves?

Whether you are rich, poor, healthy, ill, or just humming along in your life somewhere in between, we all have only 24 hours in each and every day to invest wisely.  We often spend a great deal of time and energy thinking and worrying about, or working to earn and pursuing more money.  However, while we are doing that, sometimes we are missing the greatest gift of all – our time to experience our lives.  A wise teacher once said to me, “You can always get more money but you can never buy more time.”   Good point!

How often do we consciously think about how we invest our time?  I consciously use the word invest because the way we choose to spend out time is truly an investment in ourselves and our lives.

Based on my observations over the last several decades on this planet, however, you would never guess the true value of this time commodity by the way people act and speak.

First, let’s look at the common ways people dishonor time with their actions.  Do any of these choices look familiar?
- Spending hours in front of the TV.
- Sacrificing a healthy amount of regular sleep in an attempt to steal more time. (You may be awake for more hours, however being in a fog and loaded up on caffeine does not translate into quality or “more time”.)
- Working ineffectively and/or spending so much time at a job that you have in effect handed over your life to someone else.
- Existing in a state of stressed out or burned out.
- Spending hours aimlessly surfing the internet.
- Participating in gossip or the rumor mill.

Now, let’s take a look at the language we use when we discuss our precious friend, time.  Do any of these comments look familiar?
- I wish it were Friday already! (usually spoken from a Monday through Thursday point of view)
- I’m just wasting time; or, this is a waste of time.
- I have some time to kill
- I’ll get to enjoy my time when I retire.
- I’m just counting the hours until the end of the day, or the days until the weekend, retirement, etc.

So, how often do you wish away your life? How often do you let time simply pass you buy?

While it may sound cliché, the phrase Carpe Diem has a great deal of merit.  It means, seize the day. I can still remember my first real experience with this term when Robin Williams challenged his young students in the movie Dead Poet’s Society to do just that – seize the day.  He used it as a call to arms where every student in his class should make each day a day that was truly explored and lived fully.

WHERE DOES MY TIME GO?
A Challenge for You

Do you know where all your time goes each day? What parts of your life are most important to you?  Are those the parts of your life that receive the greatest amount of your time and attention?  Or, do you find yourself doing the same things today that you did yesterday simply because that is what you did the day before that?

For the next month, take stock of where your time and your life go.  At the end of each day, write down the number of hours spent in each of the main areas of your life.  An example of what those main categories might look like could be:

Areas of My Life
Physical Health & Well-Being
Primary Relationship, Spouse, Significant Other
Friends, Family, Children, Relationships
Career/Work
Finances and Money
Physical Surroundings (home, work, etc.)
Spirituality (connecting with a power greater than yourself)
Fun and Relaxation
Making a Difference in your Community and the World

After the month passes, total up the hours spent in each category and reflect back on how you spent your time.  Did “reality” surprise you? Or, was it what you expected? How does the way you invest your time on a daily basis make you feel?  Is it in alignment with your values and what you really want from your life?

Take some time to take stock in how you invest your most precious asset – time.  Remember, tomorrow is promised to no one. Carpe Diem.

In our days, in this big world, there are a lot
of single people who spend their life alone.
There are a lot of wonderful ladies out there
just waiting to meet the man of their dreams,
hoping that someday this will appear.  Also, many
single men would like to meet their special one,
but the only problem is that they don’t know very
well where to find the woman they want.

Learn to meet new people. In this fast paced
world, too many people out there are lonely.
Change your attitude and get out there and make
new friends.

So, if you want to meet someone new, you should
start by spending your time in the places most
visited by women, the best places to meet them.

1. Through friends and family. Surely you have a
lot of friends. If you are single, you should
spend much time with the boys, go with them at
parties. This is a good opportunity to meet
special girls which they probably know and help
you to get the one you like. It is one of the
most easy way to meet someone because your
friends presents you the girl and all you have to
do is to get know her better.

2. At work. Maybe you are a very busy man working
till late and don’t have time to go out to
looking for a partner. In this case, the best
partner for you is somebody who is as busy as you
are and understands the reason why you don’t have
too much time for her. If you are surrounded by
many women at your work, watch out because there
can be the perfect woman for you.

3. The mall. We all know that women love to go
shopping. That’s why mall is always full of women
especially at the clothing area. From the big
number of girls meet here you can choose the one
you want and start a conversation with her by
offering your service to help her carry her bags.
It’s just a beginning, you’ll see if you have a
change to get a date with her.

4. At the gym. Why to keep making sport at home,
alone , when you can go to the gym, a place with
many beautiful women, with a perfect body. It’s a
good opportunity to show that you are in a very
good shape too and attract the athletic and
beautiful woman you ever dreamed of.

5. Museums and art galleries. Here you can find
women that are better educated. You must act with
some elegance and refinement here. If you don’t
know anything about the artists or pieces, act
with confidence and try to find out something
about the exhibit.

6. Public places: theater, cinema, disco, parks.
We all know that a woman who is single doesn’t
like to spend her time alone in the house. She
likes to go out with their friends hoping to find
a partner. So, go to a disco, have fun and there
you have all the chances to find your special one.

7. Group dance lessons. There are a lot of women
who like to dance. You should follow some dance
lessons not only because in this place are a lot
of beautiful women, but it is important to know
to dance. Also it is a   good chance to
approaching women, some of the dances being very
sensual and exciting.

8. Jewelry stores. I think that is no woman who
doesn’t like jewelries. Women are very
preoccupied on how they look that’s why they like
to change their jewelries very often.

9. College. It’s a place with an abundance of
women everywhere you look. It’s the perfect place
to meet a young and smart girl like the one from
your dreams. The advantage is that you can choose
from a big number of girls.

10. Internet personals. If you don’t like to go
out with your friends and prefer to spend your
time alone in the house in front of your computer,
you may find a partner online. It is a very easy
way to meet someone and make new friends. After
you get to know better a girl online you may ask
her for a date. It will be more easily for you to
win her at your date now that you already know
how she’s thinking and what she likes.